What is an excellent marriage?
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments....”
That’s how Shakespeare begins his famous 116th Sonnet - Which some say is the best definition of love ever written.
Marriage should certainly be a marriage of true minds. That meeting of minds is certainly the center post of any marriage. The partners in such a bonding should both be perfectly satisfied with themselves and their spouse in all respects, entering into the union with no doubts or reservations. The idea that each partner should “give 50 % or more” is foolish. In an excellent marriage there is no thought of giving or sacrifice - the couple is doing what they both want to do -all the time.
In their book “Mirages of Marriage” Lederer and Burdick divide marriages into several different types, from dysfunctional to weary battlers, to comfortable,, etc. They mention the ideal type, which they called “The heavenly twins” but said they could find no examples of this type, however it theoretically did exist. this was a marriage where the spouses had absolute mutual interests, were each other’s best friends, went everywhere and did everything together, and never conflicted.
Lederer and Burdick didn’t look far enough. A few years ago a group of geriatric specialists did a study of long-married couples (50+ years) - as I remember in rural Texas - and found many such examples. Apparently the heavenly twins are not all that uncommon.
I have not, of course, listed all the components of an excellent marriage - just suggested the beginning framework.
A Question: Is such a relationship a starting point where two like-minded lovers sort of stumble on each other, or would a couple grow into such a relationship? If so, how?
Do you have any examples of such a relationship you personally have observed. I have one such example I’ll enlarge upon later, if anyone’s interested.
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