July 26, 2007
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When are we happiest?
This Socrates_cafe question is an interesting one and I'm surprised that more haven't commented on it.
Group wisdom generally says childhood is our happiest time but I'm not sure I agree. It seems to me that time of your life just before decrepitude sets in is probably the happiest. By then you have achieved your place in life and the world, you have probably become satisfied, or at least reconciled to your lot, and you have time to enjoy life. Hopefully you have a partner to share your leisure and the ability to do those things and visit those places you dreamed about during your working career.
I know I've sort of predicated the ideal situation, but even if your life is less than ideal, or you are not satisfied with your lot, at that age you should have the wisdom to make the best of what you've got and the time to enjoy life. You should have learned to concern yourself with those things you can influence - mainly your attitude toward life - and accept those you cannot.
The Roman philosopher Epictitus is perhaps the best expression of this. In more modern times, Abraham Maslow's concept of Self Actualization carries the idea to its natural conclusion.
Comments (11)
I can relate to the "decrepitude" part
I have always believed that we are happiest when we are being creative.
Interesting take. I was thinking of "Macro" happiness, you focused on "Micro", and I must agree with you there.
Are there any universal conditions for happiness?
I would think that being at peace with oneself would be a universal condition for happiness.
Blessings.
As bizarre as this sounds, I always think things are great. The reason that may sound bizarre is that even when things in my life seem really tough/difficult/horrible, I think to myself, "Wow! So *this* is what it feels like for things to be so (fill in the blank)!" Like - the one time when I was a waitress that I dropped a tray - it was a small tray with two strawberry daquiris on it. Both of the drinks spilled down the front of my shirt in my attempt to overcorrect the balance problem - with a quite messy result. It wasn't really *that* horrible of an experience (many things could be much worse, I'm sure) but even really bad things often stick in my head like that.
Honestly - it's like I wallow in pain when I have it. Maybe I'm just really weird.
I dunno - I just *really* enjoy every experience/sensation/whatever.
On the flip side - a friend of mine has a really hard time with her age - it pisses her off that she's not young and beautiful (by society's standards) anymore. I mean, it *truly* pisses her off. Also, she is a breast cancer survivor - and while she does pretty well in most cases, sometimes people talking about cancer just puts her in this super bad mood. It's tough for me to be around her when she's like that - yet I know she needs the support. Her and I work together, so we are around each other enough for me to have seen her in many different situations like that....
What time is the best time?
In my opinion - it's right now.
And the next moment will be great as well - no better or worse - they are all great.
Sure, I wallow when I get depressed/down - but in some ways I enjoy it.
Everything passes - but each right now is great.
Truly - I think I have more endogenous opiates than the average person....
Sorry to blog in your blog
Robyn, you can blog in my blog anytime
i think people who manage to live happily in the present are very fortunate- and pretty rare.
My kidneys are a-ok! Thanks for the support
RYC, in the second video, his technique becomes extremely obvious. If you watch the video with the sound off (which I did in order to finally be able to watch the whole thing), you can more easily observe body language, facial expression, and personal space - these things that all have a powerful effect on our unconscious mind.
He starts out by hitting a sore spot to make John emotionally vulnerable - forgive Hitler. He doesn't even have to know much about John beyond that he's Jewish to know that this is going to be a hot button.
While John is reeling from that, he proceeds. He encourages John to abandon inhibition "if you feel something during this... let it come... if you want to hit me in the face... make my day". You can see that John nods his head in compliance.
He and his assistant then move in closer. This is an anxiety-producing violation of personal space that would make anyone agitated. Nobody likes to feel crowded. You can also see the facial expressions become more aggressive, and it's obvious from watching his lips that he's snarling his words at this point - he's signaling aggression to agitate the subject.
As they move in still closer, he makes the sign of the cross on John's forehead - but you can observe that he does this in a very rough manner. This is (minor) physical aggression. It's designed to trigger the fight response, and in an already agitated person it works well. Then they move in closer and place the Bible on the forehead, blocking the field of vision, and it's on.
If he had done this to someone who had never heard of an exorcism, and didn't understand a word of English, he'd have still had a fight on his hands. The only difference is that the combatant wouldn't have claimed to be Papa Gede.
Given that someone who is coming to see him is likely to be nervous and not entirely skeptical - and that person is then to be psychologically manipulated in this way - it makes sense that it works. I have to wonder if there are similarities here to some forms of hypnosis.
I don't think that there is a set time in life when everyone is happiest. For some people, childhood is the best part. These people like being cared for - they like freedom from responsibility. Others crave autonomy, but with less responsibility, so for them the college years and early adulthood are the best. Still others enjoy autonomy, companionship, stability, and self-actualiztion. Middle age and older adulthood before the loss of independence would be the golden years here.
The happiest time of your life depends on your circumstances - no one who grew up in an abusive home would describe childhood as happy - but also a great deal on your personality. As a result, it's different for everyone.
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